Confessions of an Empath…
I’ve been to places where to lose my mind might have been
a blessing - for I have the Curse and Grace of being an Emotional Empath.
I feel things deeply - not because I am weak, but because I am strong.
This binds me however to each person I come to know anything about, including
what I can ‘imagine’. I am linked by soul to all of Humanity. And some
days, when I am not so strong, I fear this…
I have also been as close to God as feeling I was literally
held in the palm of The Hand of The Maker - where no worldly harm could
possibly come to me - a child peacefully asleep in the lap of a parent.
No doubt. No worry. Only blessed assuredness in the purpose of all things….
I have loved the fresh breath of Spring, the fruition
of Summer, the rest-in-wait of Autumn, the peace of Winter. Reassuring
Circles. I have also walked in Men’s skins and Women’ hearts. I have touched
the sheer wonder of The Young, felt the despair of The Old, witnessed the
oblivion of those in-between - preoccupied with what could well be meant
to be, yet not seeing…
I am a writer, poet, artist, who sees this Life as an
endless wonder. Yet I have also felt the jadedness of those who make Fear
their keeper.
I have touched Sacred Dawns and Holy Nights, and the despair
of souls who do not look; at stars, at light, at havens. I have been lost,
found, blessed and forsaken - given miracles and loved the Maker, pleaded
with Life not to bring me to a place where I could lose these memories
- yet have been seemingly left on my own at times to discover them again
in weariness. More welcome, if only I could find the strength to look…
and then, I did…
And I have seen much of Mankind forsake these chances,
and I have seen those who carry and create Love in their own way, from
generation to generation, person to person.. And I have seen those who
never cared, and have never seen. And I have felt the pain of being a lost
soul… in them, and at times, in me.
I have been what some called a sacred messenger to those
with no hope, for my heart was filled with Love and Knowing. I have also
been reviled for asking questions only God supposedly had the answers to,
yet let me know in increments because I took the time, to ask, to look…and
I knew we all had this power…
My soul has touched upon the mysteries of the Universe,
and caught many a glimpse of God’s own face here in the world, I in my
mortal form realizing that we all have our own visions thereof. I have
felt the beating of Angel’s wings around me, their hands touching my shoulder,
and known that we all come from one place and will return… that we are
never apart.
Yet I have also been, in my mortal state, to places where
nothing could reach me and my senses were numbed. And I lamented! And I
knew that some others have never escaped this ‘place’. Would I? Some days,
I feel as if I have lived all of Mankind’s Suffering & Awe all in my
own lifetime. I have wanted with all of my soul to leave, yet I knew there
was far more to learn.
For this reason am I here.
For this reason do I share.
For this reason am I witness as well as messenger
For this reason do I love freely, and yet weep also…
I have felt the very sacredness of Life itself, and despaired
at Mans’ arrogant reasoning, lack of forethought… destroying this Living
Earth all for the sake of a security that cannot be measured on the outside,
which is not in harmony with the Inside.
I have learned that Youth is not wasted on the Young,
but only on those who lament its passing without looking at the wonder
of each new day. I am aware of the universe within each of us - depths
and heights that no one else may fathom - and yet each of us experiencing
nothing different than has already occurred in Humankind; Love, Fear, Knowledge,
Ignorance, Looking, Hiding, Shining, Sinking - there is nothing new under
the sun, but how we reach out and share with one another - this causes
the ebbs and tides in our Human World.
I have learned that fascination is the key to staying
alive - inside. It is why, whenever possible and practical, I travel wearing
my Soul on my sleeve…
I have found that it is hard work to care, yet I have
found I simply cannot do otherwise… and I know that I am not alone…have
never been…
~ The Caterpillar’s Lament
~
Said the caterpillar to his Maker;
I do not understand your ways ~
Each time I find my refuge
it is taken all away.
I must worry and go forward
in each Dawn to seek my daily needs ~
I must struggle in each moment,
ever mindful, and each danger heed…
My appetite ne’er satisfied ~
You made this burden mine.
You put me in the world outside
when I would rather be Inside…
My feet grow oh so weary, Lord,
My heart aches with each step…
My journey nowhere closer to
the promise of some rest…
These trials and cares have taken their toll.
I feel I’ve lost my way ~
If you’ll forgive me Lord, I beg my leave,
for there is nothing left to say…
Then said The Maker to His creature;
Behold, Oh Little One!
Your struggles are not yours alone
and mercy shall be done ~
This World is wide and lovely,
And your burdens shall be light ~
You asked Me for My Mercy,
And so I give to you new sight…
Close your eyes and take your rest
and when you waken you will see,
your true wings shall be granted…
And it is I who set you free.
Then go forth and gather sweetness…
and this gift shall be for Me…
