This being my 100th
week here at The Oracular Tree, I thought I might mark the occasion by
delving deeper than ever before into the nature of things we encounter
in our Human State – on all planes. Brace yourselves. It matters not what
if any deity or cosmic dictates you subscribe to – this is surely the epitome
of our true unity, and curse, and I hereby take it upon myself to share
this revelation. While it may well be that if a butterfly flaps its wings
in Brazil, it can cause a tidal wave in the Pacific, aside from those “Monarchs
of Evil”, I’m talking about something far more fundamental (and insidious)
than Cause and Effect, or Karma. Neither ‘Repenting’, nor seeking Dharma
will save you…
I refer you to the ‘synergistic malevolence’ revealed
in the intrepid writings of an engineer at Edwards Air Force Base in 1949
– one Captain Edward A. Murphy, a true realist and visionary of the last
century, and the author of…“Murphy’s Laws”. If you have not had the chance
to study them, you will surely have felt their effects nonetheless. Job
did, even though Murphy was not then mentioned in the Bible. The morbid
yet inescapable Universal Truth proclaimed is that ‘when left to themselves,
things will go from bad to worse’. Yet equally true is that ‘when properly
attended to, things will go from bad to worse’! Furthermore, ‘if anything
can’t go wrong, it still will’. Not to mention that ‘if everything seems
to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something…’.
Of course, I hear you laughing – not that humour is a
bad thing - although mockery is – ask Noah – or Moses for that matter -
who as we know was not let into the Promised Land (Yep, the Bible itself
is full of Murphyisms). So it is that any true prophet knows full
well that ‘everything takes longer than you expect’, and that ‘whatever
you set out to do, something else must be done first’. Murphy was in fact
our own contemporary voice in the wilderness! Oh, we joke about his wisdom,
smile in feigned deference, but some of us know the truth; ‘The light at
the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train’. Oh, ye others
of little faith…
And one more thing… ‘Always lie low – you can’t fall off
the floor’. (But then again – ‘nothing is ever as simple as it seems’…)
~ “One of those days”…
September 17, 2003
Dear Diary,
Yesterday I went to have a cyst removed. Day surgery.
I’m brave - Easy right? My doctor, upon a *mildly* cursory glance had dismissingly
said “It’s only a cyst.” Silly me – what was I doing worrying about a lump
with all this Cancer about? (I could curse him less than mildly!)
Had to be there at the hospital half an hour early to register. Now, we
have two hospitals here, but I know – distinctly recall – his receptionist
had said it was St. Mary’s. I thought perhaps I better check – just in
case - but no – I know she said St. Mary’s! So there I was, paid
for full parking, not knowing how long the procedure might take. But what
– there’s no surgeon there by the name I was given. Naturally. So it had
to be at the other hospital! (naturally). Now I’m late. Hope they don’t
check my blood pressure when I get there. What a silly thing, getting upset!
NO sweat. Go with the flow (though I have heard only dead fish
go with the flow)… Had to get exact change out so I could scurry out of
the parking lot and pay at the automated exit. Got to the other hospital
– sigh – no change for the meter parking (I used it at the other lot) so
I had to again – go into the parking garage. Full rates. Well, whatever.
I hurry in to register with my health card and fill out forms – but where
is my wallet?? It’s in the car, on the seat – because I’d been in such
a rush… So, I go all the way back to the parking garage (pant, pant) and
I’m walking towards the car when an overhead light goes out directly above
me. Some would equate this with “SLIders” (street light interference),
but I say “Sod OFF!” to the spirit that has me going in circles thus far
so early in the day. “I’m NOT in the mood! Really!!” Went back, got the
procedure done (thankfully the surgeon wasn’t having a “Monday” on this
Tuesday) and all was well – phew! So I head back to the parking garage
– but DAMN – I forgot to get change so I can pay to get out! ALL the way
back to the hospital lobby. Looking for a change machine. Ah, there! I
insert 5 bucks, I wait, and then I notice at the bottom of the machine
it says “This is Not a Change Machine”. Right. Of course. What was I thinking.
What would a change machine be doing next to the telephone booth?? (it’s
for calling cards – and I thought at least the next person is going to
get a good deal out of this!). Back to the garage – did find a real
change machine but – I’m totally befuddled now – not my usual state (Heaven
knows, I try!), but what the heck, and I walk to the car when a second
overhead light goes out right above my head! More SLI? Nooo – ‘someone’
is having magnificent fun at my expense, and is rubbing it in. “It’s QUITE
enough already!!” I sternly say. No one else there – hey – I can talk to
myself, right? Or to “whoever”. Or am I indulging them? I get into the
car. I have, and am holding, my four Dollar Coins, and I wanna leave! I
insert my four coins – carefully, mindfully - into the meter at the booth.
I anticipate freedom, can taste it – and - nothing happens… The gate won’t
open! I’m fairly freaked now. The coins had fallen down to the bottom into
the change retrieval tray. I insert them once more, and wait – and then
yet again! And finally, the gate opens. I’m out! FREE at last!!! But free
to do what, I ask, without trying to think “too loudly”… I only have one
nerve left! And it might do me the rest of the day, so long as I can spend
it as I see fit… Maybe if I go back to bed??
